Domesticated Walrus [a brief creep by Donnie Hedden]

EXT. DAY COFFEE SHOP

JOEY, a twenty-one year old, soft spoken male sits with his
girlfriend SAM, a confident, endearing yet impatient
brunette. They sit outside on the crowded patio unaffected
by the heavy foot traffic.

JOEY
I really don’t think you know what
i’m saying.

(Sam shoots a cold glare at him.)

SAM
You’re telling me; when you went
home, your door was unlocked, and
when you went inside, a walrus was
sitting at the table.

JOEY
A mascot walrus, in a big walrus
suit.

SAM
Ya, and it looked at you and made
you feel something foreign.

Pause

JOEY
Sam, I know foreign was a bad
choice of word, but you gotta
understand, this walrus, it had
this expression, this placid,
unexplainable look.

SAM
Joey, you vague fuck, you’re boring
me.

JOEY
Stay with me for a sec, this
walrus-

SAM
Joey, don’t call it a walrus, it’s
a guy dressed as a walrus, a
fucking human, NOT A WALRUS!

(Joey looks at her bitterly)


JOEY
...It looked up at me and yelled -


INT. DAY HOUSE LIVING ROOM

WALRUS, a large brown mascot suit, with tusks and large
droopy eyes sits on the couch legs crossed petting the
family cat. JOEY walks into the living room, and stops
abruptly, letting off a little gasp.

WALRUS

(Walrus slowly looks up and stares up at Joey. ECU on the
walrus eyes. ECU on joeys nervous hands. Walrus yells:)

DON’T EVER WALK INTO MY HOUSE UNANNOUNCED! YOU NEED A
FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM A WALRUS, YOU ARE A HUMAN! LEAVE!
LEAVE NOW!

JOEY
What is this?! This is not-

WALRUS
(the Walrus stands up and
points at joey)
Leave now! I’m expecting company!

(Joey frantically runs off dropping his books.)


EXT. DAY COFFEE SHOP

Sam stares wildly at Joey.

SAM
what the fuck...-

JOEY
I left. I left my house. I’m
pathetic and passive. (pause)

SAM
Now I can’t tell if you’re
serious... you are serious? you
are. No, this is bullshit, (beat) I
think it’s a great screen play
though. Let’s go back to my house,
develop a love scene. (grabs joey’s
arm)


JOEY
No! My mom is cooking pot roast
tonight, so I need eliminate the
Walrus. THIS IS SERIOUS.

SAM
You are deranged, you know that?!
When you want me, find me. (sam
leaves, throws her napkin on the
table)

(Joey finishes his coffee and runs to his car.)


INT. JOEY’S CAR

Joey drives with both hands on the wheel, he mutters in a
concerned tone

JOEY
a fuckin walrus? really? what is
happening right now. OH FUCK! (he
almost get’s into an accident)
You’re too old to drive! die
already!

(Joey starts to cry.)


EXT. JOEYS HOUSE

Joey stands at the front door with his hand on the door
knob. He breathes and opens the door. The house is lit and
quiet with only the sound of silverware scraping plates.

Joey’s MOTHER, a small framed pale middle aged women with a
bob hair cut sits, looking down at here food pushing it
around somberly with her fork. Joey’s SISTER has tears in
her eyes, as she sneaks looks at the Walrus sitting across
from her. Joey’s FATHER eats his food normally, fairly
un-distracted. The Walrus has both hands on the table,
observing the family eat. The sound of a door shuts of
screen. Joey walks into the entry way.

SISTER
joey! (mother reaches over and
hushes her daughter)

WALRUS
shut up!

JOEY
Kate! Mom! Dad! What- what is-

WALRUS
What are you doing here?!

JOEY
This is my house! What the fuck are
you doing? Who the fuck are you!
Excuse my language mom.

MOTHER
It’s okay.

(Walrus looks a Mother violently, she stares back at her
food.)

WALRUS
This is not your house Joey, you
are out of line-

JOEY
Dad!

FATHER
Joey, I think it’s best you leave
now.

(Sister breaks down crying. Mother tries to silence her. Joey
has a look of terror on his face. He starts to walk towards
the walrus. The walrus stands up and points a shotgun at
him.)

WALRUS
Joey, I think it’s best you leave
now.

(Joey freezes. He looks one last time at family, and backs
his way to the door, trembling.)

FADE TO BLACK.